End-of-life conversations with patients and their families are difficult, even for experienced health care professionals. We don't have unfailing steps for talking about hospice. We have learned that compassionate, honest and clear conversations dilute fear and bring clarity to those facing serious illness.
Families tell us they are often relieved when health care providers ask them about end-of-life goals. Patients and families may be reluctant to start the conversation, but they'll pour out their wishes and concerns to those willing to listen and ask questions.
To be honest, some families reject any mention of end-of-life care. Asking questions helps us understand their goals, too.
Ask questions to start the hospice conversation
According to the daughter of a hospice patient, “It’s important for us to understand our options. No one knows what's going to happen or when. A little guidance can open the floodgates to conversations we're all having in our heads.”
Help patients understand the basics of hospice care
There are significant socio-economic and racial factors associated with a preference for dying at home. Studies suggest that a majority of patients with life-limiting illnesses prefer the option of dying at home, particularly among those who say they have some knowledge about hospice care.
When patients or their families choose in-home hospice, they sometimes don't understand that family or friends may be devoting significant time caring for their loved one. This is where hospice teams can help explain the practical details about hospice, Medicare benefits, respite care and family support, even after the passing of a loved one.
Talk about taking time to adjust
Some families are used to having people in and out of their home, while others are unaccustomed to visitors. Meeting new nurses, social workers, home health aides, chaplains and volunteers can be overwhelming, especially in the first weeks of in-home hospice care.
Additionally, hospice professionals may order new equipment and supplies to help provide care for the hospice patient. This can be quite a change for families. It is important for the caregivers and family to understand that it will become easier after a couple of weeks when family members get to know the hospice staff.
Encourage caregivers to take care of themselves
While caregivers are busy taking care of others, it is important that they take care of themselves as well. But doing this is often easier said than done, especially when someone is as busy as caregivers tend to be. Advise caretakers that they can benefit greatly from small breaks, such as taking a long bath, phoning a friend, working in the garden or taking a walk. Some caregivers may prefer to stick close to home. In this case, suggest they use a two-way home monitor.
Caregivers need their sleep
Many caregivers say they don't get enough sleep. If a caregiver is up several times at night to give medicines or care, they should talk to their hospice nurse. If the caregiver isn’t sleeping well, chances are the hospice patient isn’t either. It’s possible to update the plan, including an option for respite care.
It's OK to have some joy
Just because someone is nearing the end of life doesn’t mean that it's inappropriate to experience happiness. Hospice is not about dying, it's about families getting the most from the time they have together.
At Compassus, we believe that being honest and open about end-of-life care make the hospice experience more comfortable for everyone. To that end, we developed a family resource guide called Along the Final Journey : A Caregiver's Guide (PDF, 860 KB)
- Language examples of meaningful hospice discussions
- The Conversation Project, including a free conversation starter kit.