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A hospice chaplain shares what patients have taught him about living

Michael Costanzo sat in his motorized scooter in the parking lot of the Cleveland, Ohio nursing facility where he lives. โ€œIโ€™m still a young man and sharp, even with two terminal diseases. Thereโ€™s no one to talk to in the nursing home. Iโ€™d probably give up if I couldnโ€™t talk to Dennis,โ€ said Mike, as he looks toward Dennis Zimmerman, his hospice chaplain.

Mike chats about his career in the Navy, his successes and failures and friendship with his girlfriend. Dennis listens. As a hospice chaplain, Dennis is part friend, part confidant and part spiritual guide.

Some of those Dennis counsels are religious, such as Mike who receives communion weekly, others are non-sectarian or firmly secular. Dennis is trained to bring comfort to patients by meeting them wherever they’re at in their journey.

โ€œPatients facing the end-of-life tell me they want to be remembered,” said Dennis. โ€œThey want to know that we’re not just here today and gone tomorrow. That their story mattered.โ€

Sharing memories helps Mike weave his own thread into the tapestry of the world around him. Stories bring comfort by helping him resolve his past, deal with his present and build a bridge to whatever is next.

Dennis knocks and quietly enters the room of James Elmore, a patient with end-stage lung disease. James talks proudly about his career and shares his regrets about not spending more time with family. He talks about his nephewโ€™s autobody skills and tells Dennis that heโ€™s never ridden in a Porsche sports car.

โ€œDeath is frightening and often generates a sense of guilt. I often hear patients say, โ€˜I should have done thisโ€™ or โ€˜if Iโ€™d only done that,โ€™โ€ said Dennis. โ€œMy job as chaplain is helping them rediscover a sense of value in their lives and the importance of family, friends and their memories. And if a patient doesnโ€™t have family, I let them know they have not been abandoned.โ€

Dennis often plays his guitar for patients, especially those who canโ€™t communicate. โ€œMy two big hits with patients are, โ€˜You are My Sunshineโ€™ and โ€˜Amazing Grace,โ€™โ€ he said. โ€œAmazing Grace speaks to that deep spiritual trust that connects with patients. Through many dangerous toils and snares, I have already come, grace will lead me home.โ€

Role of the hospice chaplain

Pastoral care for family and fellow caregivers

Everyone approaches death differently. Anger, fear or depression can affect family and fellow caregivers alike. Hospice chaplains are trained to guide all through the emotional challenges that arise with a terminal illness and death.

Grief support

Bereavement doesnโ€™t start with the death of a loved one. Anticipatory grief is the realization that the end may be near. Hospice chaplains help patients and their family through each stage of griefโ€“before, during and after death.

Care is guided by the wishes of the patient and family

Hospice pastoral care is optional and can be started or stopped at any time. Hospice chaplains never promote a religion or seek to convert. They listen first to ensure they meet people wherever they are in lifeโ€™s journey; regardless of religion, culture or family traditions.ย 

For more information about hospice care in Cleveland, visit our Cleveland location page or call (440) 899-7659.